I never understood bravery, it seemed like a feeling of passion, the last-minute nerves giving out as you take the step forward. The rush to your head when you say the words trapped inside your head. Was it just a rush? If it was, how could someone seem so brave, for more than a second?

 I was, and a little bit of me is still a timid creature. Inside of me resides a small girl of yester-years, scared of growing up. There’s a little piece of me that wants to stay in bed, and pretend the world wasn’t filled with monsters, like my nightmares.

There is a piece of me that wants to lay my head in the wildflowers, looking up at the sky and pretend I didn’t feel dead inside. I wish to escape the prison in which I lock myself into. My cellmate is a fool named anxiety, someone who wishes to control the world, to control my world.

I hide behind my words, a cry for help as I feel the darkness coming closer. I hide the truth from myself, I shove it in a bottle and seal it, throwing it out into a sea of doubt.

When you think of bravery, do you think of a lion? On the prowl, he has no enemy. To hear his growl, hiding in fear of such a sound. Lionhearted fools lead into battle, their pride like a shield, protecting them from the truth.

To me, I think a Mocking bird would represent bravery. They’re fierce little birds; when a larger fowl attacks the nest, they take the risk and chase them away. I’ve watched one chase a hawk, it did not think twice to defend it’s eggs. There’s something admirable about that. The larger, predator of a bird could just simply attack the Mocking bird, so why does she fight back against the Hawk? She is vulnerable, and at risk when she goes out against the predator.

She is vulnerable.

What I’ve never understood about bravery, is vulnerability. I never realized that to take the step, to fly, you had to expose that timid little girl.

The one who was afraid of the monsters,

The one who wanted to see the world.

The one who had bravery, the one who was vulnerable.

I was brought to my knees, I fought Vulnerability like the same lionhearted fool, I didn’t understand why I needed it. I was too proud; I was too scared.

 I was never brave at all, until I realized the truth.

I shared what had happened, my everything was ripped apart. I knew the war was over, but some days It feels like it’s still raging on.

I know I will fall again, but this time, I will ask for help to get up.

Because to be brave, you must be vulnerable.