Call me crazy, but whipped cream on an iced latte is odd.
Other benevolent thoughts such as these are on my mind, as I sit in a coffee house yet again. Perhaps this time I’m more aware, more sure of what is going on. Not in a wave of blind bliss where I am swept away. A realization shatters the world around me, in which I find- is mirrors surrounding me.
Can you imagine where I am today? Not perfect, but content. Not together, but in pieces. Somehow in my brokenness I am whole. Fine ribbon ties up the cracked vase that holds my soul.
It’s terrifying, and brilliant. I am myself again.
Benevolent thoughts again, and again, and again…
The warm embrace of a laptop overheating comforts me on this cold evening. I think a song by the Eagles is playing, but I can’t be sure. Reality could very well be false.
Two men share company with glasses of wine, pink; pearly liquid swirling in it’s intoxicating state. They’re discussing computers I think.
An uneasy barrister keeps losing his words in the coffee cups. The barista is wearing an owl city t-shirt, and makes such a good cup of coffee. Her pink ponytail bobbing to and fro above the counter.
The women behind me share high spirits, knitting and Sewing, and crocheting, and creating. Laughing about lovers from another time.
My lavender infused coffee reminds me of the good in this world, and that there are very few pairings better than this.
Back to the benevolent thoughts.
Last January, I was someone else, a shadow of who I was. July reminded me of who I am, breaking me free of something of sort destiny.
This January, I am sober, I am free. I am a person, not a shadow.
And maybe
Just Maybe,
This
Is
How
It’s supposed
To
Be.
Or maybe, it’s just benevolent thoughts freeing me.